I somehow managed to implement a New Year's Resolution already this year without meaning to do so or taking the time to sit down and consider the idea of resolut-ing... or making a list... or any of those things people do for the new year. My resolution this year is: Honesty. I am going to try my best to be more honest, both with myself and with all the people I care about. Some of you may already have seen this practice in action, and if I've taken you by surprise then I apologize; but know that I intend to continue this trend as long as I can reasonably keep it up.
I feel like we, as a people, waste so much of our precious time and energy hiding from the truth or trying to disguise it, when we could be exploring all that life has to offer. Well I'm tired of hiding, tired of pretending, tired of only showing the 'most attractive' sides of myself and of every crazy situation that comes up. It's time to GET REAL, PEOPLE! Time to look at the world and say, "you know what? This is me - this is who I am. Take it or leave it because I'm not going to change for you."
My name is Kathleen. I'm a 23-year-old (extremely unorthodox) Jewish college grad who works in retail but dreams of being a published writer. I'm broke and I've made some big mistakes with regards to my finances in the past two years since getting out of college, but I'm finally admitting those mistakes and taking steps to correct them. I mostly hate my job, I don't get out much, but I love spending time with my best friends whenever I get the chance. I'm just starting to get to know certain members of my immediate family better after years of feeling split between my 'at home' and 'on my own' personas.
I'm a huge nerd. I used to hang out in the band room at school. I love video games and fantasy and sci-fi books. I like anime, martial arts movies, Star Trek (Next Gen mostly), Lord of the Rings, online gaming, graphic novels and board games. All of the employees at the GameStop store in the mall know me by sight and know my gaming preferences. I've probably spent twenty times more of my time in the past year gaming than I have exercising, and it's definitely starting to show. And I don't really plan on changing that any time soon either.
I love animals, especially dogs. I'm not a good swimmer and I'm somewhat afraid of the ocean. I've been to Italy and Paris and Israel and I want to travel a whole lot more when I can afford to. I play the saxophone and a bit of piano, and I've been a dancer since I was three years old, though not so much in the past two years. I wish my aunts and uncles and cousins didn't live so far away, and I hate not having real vacations now that I have a real job.
I own my own rollerblades but I'm awful at skating. I call myself a non-drinker but on the occasion that I make an exception it's usually to have a bit too much. I regulate my speed on the highway but drive WAY too fast around town, usually when I'm late for work. I own a car but wouldn't begin to know how to check the oil, or change a flat tire. I believe that friendship, family and discovery/adventure are the most important things in the world, and nothing can convince me that Money has an equal standing in terms of importance.
So this is just a snapshot of who I am today; at times, I feel like a contradiction in terms, a hypocrite making fun of hypocrites, a hypochondriac and a claustrophobic and a grandiloquent windbag just talking for the sake of talking. But THIS IS ME. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE WHO I AM FOR YOUR BENEFIT.
Happy New Year. Now start a conversation with somebody!
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